I’m turning 35, which feels old enough to have learned a few things but young enough to still be figuring a lot of them out. I’ve changed my mind about what I want, how I want to spend my time, and what actually makes me happy.
Some of these lessons came from motherhood, some from marriage, some from making questionable decisions, and some from finally realizing I was making things way more complicated than they needed to be. So, in no particular order and with no further explanation, here are 35 things I’ve learned about motherhood, life, and myself.
- You don’t have to be good at something to enjoy doing it.
- What makes sense for you won’t necessarily make sense to someone else.
- You can outgrow a version of yourself without hating who you used to be.
- Your goals can change as you get older and become a mom.
- Some seasons, everything else goes on the back burner for motherhood and that’s okay.
- Some days are hard, and you can still have a positive experience of motherhood.
- Do motherhood your way.
- You chose your partner as a husband and a father. Ask for help.
- You can want more and still live a slow life.
- Marriage is work.
- Friendships are work, too…both are worth working on.
- Some problems are solved by sleeping on them.
- Join a mom group. Seriously. It’s full of friends who get it.
- Set boundaries, but don’t be a prude. You still have to live your life.
- Wear what you want.
- Live where you want.
- Be “cringe” if that means being yourself.
- Don’t worry so much.
- Make a decision. It’s probably not that serious.
- Try new things. If you hate them, don’t try them again.
- Money can buy happiness—but you have to already be happy.
- Pay for convenience.
- Take the trip. Buy the bag. Just plan for it.
- Sometimes you need to stop researching and just do the thing.
- Not every hobby has to generate income.
- Drink the good champagne.
- Work on yourself, physically and mentally.
- Work out. We’re getting older. We need to feel hot and look hot.
- Rest isn’t earned.
- You don’t have to control everything.
- Aging is a privilege, but so is having the money to slow it down.
- Being busy doesn’t mean you’re being productive.
- You don’t have to know what’s next.
- Sometimes the answer is just no.
- You get to decide what a good life looks like for you.
If I’ve learned anything by 35, it’s that there really isn’t one right way to do life. What works for one person might make absolutely no sense for someone else, and that’s okay. I’m still figuring things out, changing my mind, trying new things, raising a kid, working on myself, spending money on things I probably don’t need, and occasionally overthinking decisions that really aren’t that serious. But I’m also getting better at knowing what I actually want and giving myself permission to work for it, want it, and enjoy it.
At the end of the day, you get to decide w
hat a good life looks like for you. I think that’s a pretty good thing to figure out by 35.
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