I’m not a marriage expert. But I have a very healthy and happy relationship with my husband, and I want to share what’s contributed to our successful marriage. Here are some tips that I think have helped our marriage grow stronger. Use what you think could help your relationship, and ignore what won’t.
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DO
- communicate! I can’t stress this enough. It’s not only important to communicate, but communicate effectively. I talk with my husband ALL the time, sometimes probably too much if you ask him. Over the years they way you communicate may change, and that is normal. You will learn to communicate in ways that your partner will not only listen to but also understand.
- celebrate all the wins! Celebrate anything that’s important in your relationship. For example we’ve celebrated getting house projects done, paying off credit cards, small accomplishments at work, ect. It can be big or small, if it’s important to you both it is worth celebrating.
- forgive and forget. If it’s something you’re willing to move past, then do just that.
- schedule date nights. At home date nights count!
- kiss and say I love you often. This is self explanatory, yes you both may know it but it is always nice to hear it.
- consult each other. Consider creating rules about things you’d like discuss often.
- support each other. Having your partner support you is the best feeling. Now if they are doing something crazy then maybe you’d have to talk about it. But support their dreams, it means a lot!
- work on your relationship. I use to say relationships shouldn’t be work, and I still think to some extent that’s true. But relationships change and grow, and you have to be willing to do the same.
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Don’t
- expect your partner to read your mind. They can’t know how you feel if you don’t tell them. More often than not they know something is wrong but not what was wrong. Allow them to help you by telling them how they can.
- dwell on the small things. Talk about it and move on.
- bring up the past. This goes hand and hand with the above “do.” Whatever you’ve decided you would accept make sure you do. I am not by any means encouraging you move past any sort of domestic abuse. I am however advising you to not bring up things that you’ve decided to move past, whether it’s something your partner said, financial issues, infidelity issues, etc. I have not personally had these issues in my relationship, so I’m not sure what I’d do in the situation. But if I decided to move past it, I’d do just that.
- neglect individual time. Yes, time as a couple is important, but it’s also important to set aside time for yourself.
- worry if you’re in a slump. Know it’s temporary and figure out why you’re there so you can get out of it. Unfortunately, sometimes a “slump” is more permanent, but it’s still important to evaluate how and why your relationship is where it is, and decide what to do.
- compare. EVER! You don’t know what another couple goes through. Even the happiest couples can go through rough patches. I would encourage you to talk with couples you have healthy relationships if you need some advice, but that doesn’t necessarily mean what works for them will work for you.
- expect your partner to provide all of your happiness. Yes, you should be happy with your partner. But they cannot be responsible for all your happiness. You’ve got to be happy with yourself.
What Now?
These tips may not be relevant to your relationship. But if they help you I’m glad. The most important do that I think can help any relationship is communicate with each other, especially in a marriage. This is the person you chose to do forever with, so don’t make it difficult, talk out your arguments and have fun.
With every milestone my relationship has gotten stronger. He is genuinely a good person who loves me unconditionally. We don’t have it all figured out but we will always figure it out together.
If you’re having trouble effectively communicating with your partner try this, discuss a topic that won’t upset you and will promote a positive discussion. Like your dream vacation or dream house goals. Ask open-ended questions to keep the conversation going, and just get some practice talking with each other.
Get ready for all the baby related posts, I’m 38 weeks now so we are expecting baby P at anytime! I’ve got a few posts lined up, so I’ll still see you here every Friday.
xo
